What every guy can learn about how to get (and keep) the girl

My wife thinks I have a secret crush on Taylor Swift. She says this to me because I listen to her music–A LOT. It all started this summer when I took my 8 year-old granddaughter, Gianna to a Taylor Swift concert. Mind you, I didn’t know anything about Taylor Swift before I got the tickets. So a few weeks before the concert I bought her latest release 1989.

By the day of the concert I knew a few songs and the rest on the album were vaguely familiar. By the end of the night I was a huge fan. Even though I was one of the oldest guys in a crowd of 55,000, I danced to her music all night long. Okay, for all you folks out there who are laughing or mocking, I just want you to know that “Tay Tay” showed me how to “Shake it Off”! Since that wonderful summer night at Soldier Field I have been having a love affair with Taylor Swift music. No shame here. I listen to all of her music. Picture me driving my convertible, music pumping, heads turning, and this guy grooving to “Style”, “Red”, and “We Are Never Getting Back Together (like ever)“. I even have my wife turned on to the music of “T-Swizzie”. You may wonder why I have the love affair with Taylor Swift music. Truth be told, I am not a huge fan of pop or country music. I’m more of a vintage rock n roll and blues guy. So why the attraction? Well, I like her sound a lot. But here is another BIG reason why I have the love affair. Taylor Swift and I have a similar passion. We speak about the complexities of relationships and the deep desire everyone has to be loved and respected. When I listen to her music, I think to myself, “She gets it.” [Tweet “Taylor Swift and I have a similar passion. We speak about the complexities of relationships and the deep desire everyone has to be loved and respected. When I listen to her music, I think to myself, “She gets it.””] One of the frustrations I hear from women A LOT is the seeming inability of guys to get them. Guys also complain to me that women are hard to figure out. The truth is, women are not that complicated. Guys, if you want to know how to get (and keep) the girl, I recommend you start listening to Taylor Swift music. She will teach you all you need to know. Here are five things you can learn from TS music.

If you want to get the girl you gotta open up and stay open – “That’s How You Get The Girl”

Guys, it is easy to open up when you first fall in love. But once you get the girl you gotta stay open. Women like a guy who is strong and sensitive. Once a guy gets his girl, he has a tendency to be less open and more “guy-ish”. It’s a huge mistake! Get into a routine of talking about your feelings. Tell her more than “I love you.” Express what you love about her. Be specific. “I love how you do little things to make me feel like your man.”

Admire and accept who she is, not a version you prefer – “Begin Again”

A woman does not want a man who cannot admire her for who she is. However, she is attracted to the man who “gets her” and does not feel threatened. If you want a great relationship with your woman, accept and like who she is. [Tweet “If you want a great relationship with your woman, accept and like who she is.”]

Make her laugh and feel safe – “Stay, Stay, Stay”

I like this song because the guy totally disarms the girl’s emotional outbursts with silly humor. He also takes the time to memorize her. Because he gets her, she feels safe with him. You want to get and keep the girl? Make her laugh! Let her feel comfortable in her own skin. My wife Marian has a fascination with spiders. We can be on a walk, riding bikes, or driving in a car (true story) and she will spot a really big spider. We stop so she can visit with it. Early on in the relationship, Marian worried if I thought she was too weird for me. Actually, her cute weirdness is attractive to me. Translation: I still stop for spiders. Marian feels safe to be herself with me.

Stay committed even when it’s hard – “Out of the Woods”

Taylor Swift wrote this song to talk about the anxiety couples face when they are trying to see if they can make the relationship work. Relationships have highs and lows.  Expect to feel lost sometimes. You may even feel worried if you can make it out of the woods. Women want to know if their guy is going to stay committed even when it gets hard. Will she be abandoned in the woods? Or will he have courage and take the lead to get you out together?

Know her heart, treasure it, and protect it – “Mine”

Everyone has a story of hope and heartache. The heart wants to love but is afraid. When a woman feels this way she wants a man who knows her heart and takes special care to protect it from further hurt. He understands her vulnerability and sees how much love she has to offer him.  Her heart is a treasure of beauty and elegance. She just needs a safe man to open it. So, that’s just a sample of Taylor Swift music that can help a guy get (and keep) the girl. Know her music for yourself and discover more!

Now IT’s Your Turn

Thus ends my confession about my love affair. What about you? Do you have a favorite Taylor Swift song? How will it help the guy get and keep the girl? Share it in the comment box below.